On Youtube I am notorious for disappearing for long periods of time. This time I struggled with personal and family issues. As most of you know I had gotten a job over the summer and for most of the fall at a Halloween store. I put a lot of effort into that job and made some fantastic friends there as well. When school started I got hit hard with homework and then the prolonged loss of a family member. The first week of school my Grandmother was hospitalized with severe seizures. With her other ailments it all went downhill from there. She held on for much longer than anyone expected and when she did pass away it hit me hard. She was like another mother to me and it was hard to not have her around. I sort of withdrew from the world around me afterwards. It was noticeable in my videos that I was putting out that I wasn't happy. It was all just a show. After a while I just stopped posting videos and doing things that were normal for me. I was in a depression.
Not only did the death of my Grandmother shake my world, but then I had some personal issues of my own I had to deal with. I was pre-diabetic with a whole slew of approaching health problems if I didn't start to eat and treat myself better. I had always struggled with my weight since I was little. In the past couple of years since giving up Karate I had struggled with finding a routine that kept my interest. Except it was no longer what interested me, but what could save me. I cut out all sodas, sugars, and highly processed foods and worked out more. I was put on a low-carb diet a short while afterwards. I have been watching what I eat and exercising everyday since then. I have gotten things under control health wise at the moment. In fact I have a follow-up appointment coming up this week to check on my progress.
Through my journey of weight loss I lost another family member. My world was shaken again and brought up my pushed down feeling about my Grandmothers death. This time I dealt with my feeling through talking them out with my mom and working out my anger and frustration. At the current time I have come to turns with all that has happened.
During this time I couldn't pretend that everything was okay and make Youtube videos. I didn't do things that made me happy anymore. As I turned my life around and came to turn with things I had this longing for Youtube. I had this longing to sit in front of the camera and talk about makeup and beauty and fashion. Something I hadn't longed for in months. As I sit here today and write this post I am coming up with endless ideas of what to post. I have Spring Break this week and I am hoping to have time to sit down and film some videos. Instead of addressing all these issues in a video I decided to post it in a blog post instead. I hope you all understand my absence and understand that if I had made videos at that time in my life they would not have been of decent quality. Thank you all <3
xoxo
Kylie
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